NOTHING WILL STOP THE BRADFORD DILLMAN BLOGATHON.

I am extremely sorry about the utter lack of Millie around this blog lately.

I've been having a CRAZY January.

My computer crashed with an awful virus (Oscar is okay now). I got my driver's license (FINALLY), but not before I had an epically awful driving test -- which definitely may have involved the State Patrol. Assorted other craziness occurred. Last weekend alone, I attended a wedding, a funeral, and a birthday party. ALSO last weekend, I had friends from Sierra Leone visiting.

And then. The storms came.

I haven't left my house since Monday. I haven't had power since Wednesday (I'm at my sister's house for a few hours right now). My college has been closed down all week. IT HAS BEEN INSANE. And no fun.

I love a good storm. REALLY. Wind and rain storms are absolutely lovely.

I'm not quite as a fan of snow, but when it cancels classes for a few days -- that's fun.

HOWEVER, BEING TRAPPED AT HOME WITH NO INTERNET. THIS IS NO FUN. NO FUN AT ALL.

I'm literally gonna kill my entire family very soon.

Anyway, without internet, I was extremely agitated. One, I couldn't find out if the Poe visitor showed up -- HE DIDN'T :'(. And two, I was worried about the blogathon.

Don't worry. It's still happening.

Apparently, I put the wrong dates on the announcement. It was SUPPOSED to run from the 20th - 23rd, but I put the wrong dates up.

Lovely.

The blogathon OFFICIALLY starts tomorrow and then you all can start posting (and sending me the links). I already know of a few planned posts and they are gonna be AWESOME. I'm excited.

I'm not sure if I'll have power tomorrow, but I'll definitely have it on Monday at school.

So, until we meet again...

-Millie

If you need a place to start in your Dillman appreciation, check out this post from last year. It has a few links that might be helpful.

2011 in Film: The Year in Review

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT 2011 IS OVER. THIS IS CRAZINESS. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS.

Anyway, because I am so proud of myself and the fact that I've managed to keep track of nearly every film I've watched this year (I'm know a few were missed here and there) -- I am going to subject you to a month-by-month recount of my favorites.

Now, I started the year doing this every month, but er, um got a little forgetful/busy/etc/etc/etc.

SO, I'M DOING IT NOW.

I'm gonna go month-by-month with my favorites/least favorites and then later (probably tomorrow), I'll do a post on my absolute favorites/least favorites of the entire year.

Off we go!

January: 8 new films/ 13 total

In January, I listed I Love You Again and How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying as tied for favorite. I haven't seen either since, and it feels terribly wrong that an entire year could have passed since I watched both (IT'S BEEN A WHOLE YEAR?!). But, both were lovely and quite deserving of their place.

Also deserving was my least favorite, They Came to Cordura. I can't remember anything about it, except Michael Callan getting struck down by typhoid and Rita Hayworth's attempts to continue to be a goddess throughout the awfulness. I think my mind has put up a permanent block on this movie.

This was also the month of Randolph Scott Presents: Ride the Wild Surf and Peter Brown's horrible blonde hair:

I'll I could say was, THOSE ARE PUNCTURE WOUNDS, BOBBY! STOP! YOU'VE MADE A HORRIBLE ERROR! {This has nothing to do with anything.}

Oh, and this was also the month of David Janssen being evil and wearing a creepy fake mustache (aka THIS MONTH WAS PURE GOLD!):

February: 8 new films/14 total

Hmmm, I seem to have skipped over February in my listing. OH WELL. I shall try to remember as best I can. ;-D

I gave four films five stars and three films four stars. That's a pretty good average (the final new film got three stars). Those five starred films were A Man Could Get Killed; To Sir, With Love; A Letter to Three Wives; and Ask Any Girl. I truly liked each one. I CAN'T CHOOSE.

For least favorite, I would probably choose The Cowboy and the Lady. I liked it. But, it rather bore me.

Also notable in February? Village of the Giants. I still have NO idea what was going on. No idea. SERIOUSLY NO IDEA. It was brilliant.



March: 18 new/31 total

Ahh, March. You were wonderful. I still remember the movies I watched very clearly. There were, comparatively, so many new films. And, SO MANY WEIRD ENDINGS.

Once again, I listed my favorite film as a tie. This time between You Must Be Joking! and The Blob.

And my choice for least favorite was Palm Springs Weekend. Who let Troy Donahue be in movies? WHO?!

And of course, there was that movie that killed David Janssen off in the last five minutes. DAAAAAAVVIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! I LOVE YOU FOREVER!

{I'm definitely not trying to see how many David photos I can smush into this post.}

And, well, this month also had so many crazy movies and it was awesome.

And, then, this also occurred:

April: 3 new films/9 total

Wow. I still remember this pathetic month. It was Doctor Who's fault (aka it was the Tenth Doctor's fault [aka it was Sarah's fault]).

It has an episode for Agatha Christie dorks! HOW COULD I RESIST THIS SHOW?!

My favorite film in April was The Bat. I will quote my reasoning: "The Bat. It wins by default (as in I only watched two other new films and they both annoyed me). ALSO: IT HAS VINCENT PRICE. That's always cool." So yeah.

My least favorite film was Duel in the Sun. The evilness was all-consuming.

May: 7 new films/16 total

May introduced me to The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. 

May was a good month.

Oh, and worst movie of the month went to Endless Night and Hywel Bennett's creepy haircut.

And I also went to see Pirates 4 (better than the last two put together. DEFINITELY) on opening night (because why not? ;-D).

June:  14 new films /28 total

June started off splendidly with a six-starred film: Ring of Fire. You may recall that this was the glorious film starring David Janssen and glorious Washington.

Smushing photos of David Janssen into this post.... LIKE A PRO.

June went humming along quite steadily, with a good mixture of new films and re-watches. I particularly enjoyed the brilliant acting in Goodbye Again and Pressure Point. And I enjoyed, the admittedly quite stupid, Strange Bedfellows. And then came Jessica. The movie was supposed to be just a bit of pleasant mind-smushing entertainment. But, the story made me ANGRY. And then Maurice Chevalier was playing a singing priest and I really couldn't handle that. And Angie Dickinson was vespaing her way around '60s Europe and that made me insanely jealous. AND THEN.

He appeared.

Gabrielle Ferzetti. The man who became my Italian obsession. The man who forced me to leave the innocuous awesomeness and the good, solid acting of early June -- and plunge myself deep into '60s Italian depressingness THAT I STILL DON'T BLOODY UNDERSTAND. L'Avventura, Le Amiche...it all came and went.

And then, I suddenly couldn't take it anymore. It was if my entire being rebelled against Michelangelo Antonioni and his never-ending symbolism.

I went back to mind-smushing entertainment at an increasing pace. I ended the month with, just possibly, the worst film ever created: The Miniskirt Mob.

June was an awesome month.

(Oh yeah. Favorite movie of the month was either Ring of Fire or 36 Hours. Least favorite was Kung Fu Panda, which I didn't even want to watch in the first place but had to because it was my friend's birthday.)

July: 16 new films /26 total 

July was fun! I got the brilliance of Crossplot

Look at Roger Moore's fake mustache.

And then there was the long-overdue viewing of Blackboard Jungle. PERFECTION!

And, well, then came North & South (technically a miniseries, but I DON'T CARE ;-D). All the time that I meant to spend packing for my trip to Africa was actually spent sitting on my bed eating Doritos and watching this. I REGRET NOTHING.

And Night of the Iguana. Ava Gardner is such a goddess. That's literally all I remember about it: Ava Gardner being a goddess.

And The In-Laws. <3Peter Falk<3

There was also the wonderfully, wonderful Evening Primrose. I can't even begin to describe its awesomeness, but if you want a little description -- check out Sarah's post on it! THIS MOVIE IS A LIFE EXPERIENCE YOU NEED TO HAVE.

OH. And Thirteen Ghosts. I hesitate to bring up this film that scared my friend and I so bad we kinda stopped it and didn't finish it until the morning. IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT.

And July ended with a couple of movies from the flights from Seattle to Toronto and Toronto to London. Air Canada, I kinda hate you and you kinda lost my carry-on bag with all my clothes in it and yeah. BUT YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SELECTION OF ENTERTAINMENT CHOICES. Joel McCrea on my own individual screen? ALWAYS RIGHT.

August: 12 new films /18 total

There weren't a LOT of films in August because I was in Sierra Leone for the first half, but that didn't stop me from seeing some lovelies in the second half.

I watched three never-before-seen Hitchcock's (Rope and Under Capricorn finished off the 40s for me and Topaz leaves me with just one unwatched 60s Hitchcock). They weren't my favorites (Hume! I love you, but PLEASE STOP WRITING MOVIES FOR SIR ALFRED!), but they still had brilliant Hitchcock moments (that one shot of the murder in Cuba was STUNNING). And, really, Ingy + Joseph Cotton + Michael Wilding. Wow.

And also, I saw Marjorie Morningstar. I sorta missed the whole point of the movie somehow, I think?! I will quote my first-reaction words as posted in August:

"Apparently, I was supposed to be sad about the tragic love story or feel sorry for Gene Kelly's pathetic, nonredeemable, and completely creepy character? All I cared about was Wally and his awesome glasses (the only reason this is even getting three stars)."

Oh yes.

Near the end of the month, I had to make the awkward admission that I had seen Girl in Lover's Lane twice in 24 hours. BRETT HALSEY, GUYS. Brett Halsey. 

(This was also my favorite film of the month. Sex and the Single Girl was my least favorite because the entire thing was worthless -- EXCEPT FOR MEL FERRER'S AWESOMENESS!)

September: 8 new films /14 total

The start of my senior year. Craziness.

(By the way, if you're still reading this -- which is unlikely -- I salute you!)

Anyway, favorite movie of September is another tie! 

I adored the low-key, but exceedingly awesome A Touch of Larceny. I have to say that this movie restored all faith in James Mason. He was PERFECT in it. Almost TOO perfect.

I also adored the decidedly unlow-key Compulsion. Bradford Dillman smiled evilly. Bradford Dillman danced the Charleston. BRADFORD DILLMAN TALKED TO A TEDDY BEAR.

This is stinkin' adorable. 

Meredith thinks the teddy bear looks like it's going to steal our souls. SHEESH. ;-D

I also finally got around to watching Green Berets (my least favorite film of the month). Depressing. But, hey, at least David managed to get out of a war movie alive for once!

And this brings our Janssen photo count up to six. Oh yes. 

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO NOT POST THIS PHOTO?!

October: 7 new films /14 total

Not much happened in October. In fact, I can literally not remember ANYTHING that happened in October. Seriously. 

Now, I'm starting to freak out. GUYS, WHAT HAPPENED IN OCTOBER?! ANYTHING?!

Well, I do know that I watched a brand-new '40s Bob Hope movie: They've Got Me Covered. That was my favorite of the month and I guess the highlight of October as a whole (I really don't know). I was particularly excited about this because I have a original movie poster for it that I purchased at an antique store several years ago. It was simply wunderbar to finally see the movie itself!

My least favorite of October was Water Horse, I guess. Just because it was so sad.

Come Blow Your Horn was an awesome, orange Sinatra fest!

And Francis of Assisi was just weird.

November: 5 new films /17 total

Favorite: Third Finger, Left Hand. It was one of those slightly forgettable, but perfectly wonderful and charming and lovely '40s comedies. 

I also rather liked, oddly enough, Jane Eyre. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a committed Bronte hater. I unfortunately made my old co-op Brit Lit teacher's life miserable with my lengthy discussions on the awfulness of everything connected with Jane Eyre. She got back at me though by forcing me to relive painful experiences by re-reading Tale of Two Cities, which contains one of my top five literary characters that I am in love with. SYDNEY CARTON, I LOVE YOU FOREVER!

Anyway, I digress. 

I've always rather championed the Orson Welles' version of Jane Eyre, simply because I adore Orson Welles and because it angers all the Jane fans I'm surrounded by (my mum; a couple of my good friends) heh heh heh. But, I truly liked this new version. It was actually light and bright and awesome. And Michael Fassbender played Rochester PERFECTLY. If you've ever read the book, then you know that Rochester is a total drama queen (he dresses up like a gypsy fortune teller woman just to bloody find out if Jane likes him or not, for goodness sake!). Fassbender played him like a total drama queen. IT WAS AWESOME.

Not much else happened in November (besides lots of Christmas movies). I was a bit preoccupied with BBC's Robin Hood. I may or may not have watched the first two seasons (because the third does not exist) twice through in less than two weeks (the second time, I watched the two seasons straight through with a bunch of friends over a twenty hour stretch during Veteran's Day break. This is not recommended). 

My least favorite film of the month was Much Ado About Nothing. It was stupid and changed the ending. WHO CHANGES SHAKESPEARE?!

December: 8 new films/ 30 total

Favorite film: oh, um, TIED AGAIN. Actually, these two films are very special and both are also tied for favorite 2011 release!

Hugo and The Adventures of Tintin.

Hugo was one of those "Oh my gosh! It's so beautiful that I feel like I'm gonna die and this is why I love movies and look how perfect this and I just want to cry because I relate so much and film is so wonderful" experiences. It was spectacular. 

And The Adventures of Tintin. I was both extremely excited and a bit wary of this movie. Tintin is a family classic. I grew up reading the comics. Tintin was a part of life. I actually remember watching one of the animated Tintins from like the '70s or whatever when my youngest brother was being born. We had to pause the movie to go see my new brother. {My family is a little odd.} 

I was EXCITED about about a Tintin movie, but wary because I really do NOT like Spielberg. At all. 

{I carry incredibly irrational grudges against people I've never met....for a long time. ;-D}

And, unfortunately, I've never forgiven Spielberg for his part in two different complete rip-offs of personal favorites. One, Disturbia was a complete copy of Rear Window -- but at least that one was noticed. And two, Monster House is the exact copy of an episode of The Wild Wild West (even down to certain plot details and images). THAT ONE MADE ME ANGRY.

But, yeah, this has nothing to do with Tintin. Sheesh.

Tintin was lovely and awesome and Spielberg gets fives stars -- just for not ruining my childhood.

Also, I watched State Fair '62. It was highly disappointing (My Darlin' Darin was perfect though, of course).

And, of course, I watched Marooned -- which I recently wrote about. (There is no reason for me to mention Marooned, except as an excuse for me to throw out another David photo! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Actually, lets make it his classic "Dr. Richard Kimble is pretending to be shy" gif!)

 Has this obsessive fangirling gone too far?
(If you think so, please do not ever visit my Tumblr. ;-D)

{Oh, and my least favorite film was Home Alone 2, which I got stuck watching during some "quality family time."}

And yeah. That was my year in movies. This is a really abrupt ending. I don't know quite how to write this conclusion. Well, I will be posting my overall favorites of the year later. So be prepared for that (I'll promise a 20% reduction in Janssen fangirling*)

*No. I don't. I'm lying.

<3David + twitchy, little smirk<3

I'm sorry guys. This post WAS written at 2 am though. I'm not lucid. I haven't slept in days. I'm just sorry. I'LL BE BACK LATER WITH LUCIDITY! ;-D

-Millie

New Year's Movie Meme

I just LOOOVE doing these survey things. I really do. And Kate let me know about this awesome new one from The Girl with the White Parasol. In fact, Kate completed the survey in her usual hysterical brilliance. Check it out!

So, yeah. HERE I GO!

1. What is your all-time favorite Grace Kelly costume?

Her swimsuit dress thing from To Catch a Thief. Pure Wowzie Kazam.

2. What classic film would you nominate for a remake?

Oh, you know, I think most '60s TV is always ready for a movie remake. I think the modern film industry has shown itself capable of properly remaking classic television. If you look at movies like Wild Wild West or The Saint, clearly the modern movie industry actually cares about honoring the classic while also approaching it with fresh perspective. I think it's great.*









*My reaction! :-)
 

3. Name your favorite femme fatale.

This woman. Perfection. I personally feel that The Lady From Shanghai contains Rita Hayworth's greatest performance.



4. Name the best movie with the word "heaven" in its title.

Leave Her To Heaven. Gene Tierney is so utterly brilliant, she manages to make me forget about the ughness of Cornel Wilde.   

5. Describe the worst performance by a child actor that you’ve ever seen.
 
Oh, there are a lot. I typically hate child performances. There are only a few of whom I approve (I especially hate singing children [I really am a grinch]). Of course, right now my mind is blanking. I really dislike most of the Von Trapp children.

6. Who gets your vote for most tragic movie monster?

Not to be too cliched, but -- Frankenstein (the doctor and his monster) hurts.  I'm not sure if my experiences with the book are coloring my feelings about this (IT'S SO SAD). But, yeah. Also, the Pod People. Especially, that last person. Unwilling monsters. IT'S NOT FAIR.


7. What is the one Western that you would recommend to anybody?

Oh, you mean EVERY WESTERN?! I can't recommend ONE western to every person. I have to perfectly tailor choices for specific people. It's an art and I work incredibly hard at it. I refuse to be put into this one-size-fits-all, generalized box.

I REFUSE.

Why are you trying to make me do this?! WHY?!

Okay, I should probably calm down, BUT I CAN'T.

I'll throw out a couple of genre choices, but this is only the beginning of brilliance.

Fans of rollicking (I love that word) action films should go for The Magnificent Six + Horst the Worst (I don't consider him to be "magnificent"). You have a seriously perfect cast: McQueen, Brynner, Coburn, Wallach, Bronson, Vaughan, (and that other guy that I will never for the life of me remember his name; I usually refer to him as "the crazy guy who thinks they're looking for gold"). AND THAT SCORE.



Fans of straight-up brilliant drama/acting absolutely need to see The Searchers. You will find yourself LITERALLY blown away. Oh yes. (Also: Red River)

Fans of comedy: Cat Ballou. Everything is perfect. Also, Support Your Local Sheriff.

Fans of "romance" (it's such an awkward sounding genre) should check out The Angel and the Badman. It's one of my favorites and it's wonderfully acted, but really, THE reason to see it is Gail Russell. She's other-worldly.

Okay, I suppose I should stop. But, really, I have so many more. SO MANY.

8. Who is your ideal movie-viewing partner?

Hmmm. Usually myself. I'm such a dork. I yell at the TV. I made odd noises. I have the ability to become embarrassed for characters who are acting stupidly. I usually then cover my face with my hands and say "awkward! awkward! awkward!" over and over until it's over. Yeah. It gets bad.

However, I am also able to watch movies with my sister, Shannon. She understands.

Also: my best fleshie, Allie. She's been watching movies with me for longer than I can ever remember. We spend our time ridiculing characters we hate, loving/hating movie outfits (usually hats), commenting on beautiful eyes, and the such. She's basically just as strange as me.

The Accented Men Appreciation Society (it's a club of five friends and I). We're cool. We spend our time watching movies with accents and talking about said accents. It's not creepy. It's cool.

My Non-Fleshies: Kate, Casey, Sarah, and Nicola. Movie chats are my favorite things in the world. Craziness ALWAYS occurs. I never thought I could find myself laughing hysterically until I could not breathe -- while typing/reading words from across the country. I MUSTACHE MY NFS!


9. Has a film ever made you want to change your life? If so, what was the film?

No. Not really. Film is a huge part of my life, but I don't think any film has ever made me want to change my life. Except maybe the fact that I've always had a secret desire to learn judo -- JUST SO THAT I COULD BE HONOR BLACKMAN.

10. Think of one performer that you truly love. Now think of one scene/movie/performance of theirs that is too uncomfortable for you to watch.

I truly love Sir Bob Hope. TRULY. However, I find it difficult to watch most of his post-mid-50s work. He never loses his brilliant ability to deliver a line, but he did lose that edge he had, especially from his start in the late-30s through WWII. That was his "golden period." Nothing was wrong. Everything was hilarious. Bob Hope was a very topical comedian. During that time, he was on top and ahead of everything. Later, he seemed to drag behind (it pains me to say that). He was still awesome, of course, though. I think Road to Hong Kong is particularly awful. I watched it once, when I must have been about eight. I will never watch it again. It hurt too much.

11. On the flip side, think of one really good scene/performance/movie from a performer that you truly loathe.  

This kills me, but, Randolph Scott was BRILLIANT in My Favorite Wife (probably because he was playing an insufferably annoying character). Everything about his character was hilarious. 

12. And finally, since it will be New Year's soon, do you have any movie or blogging-related resolutions for 2012?

Yeah. Watch more movies. Also: continue to keep track of them (I'm so proud of myself and the fact that I kept track of basically every movie this year). 

Well, that was fun! Thanks ever so Girl With the White Parasol! I quite enjoyed it! :-D

-Millie 

John, look at me. You don’t have to die to keep the John Doe idea alive!

Someone already died for that once! The first John Doe. And He’s kept that idea alive for nearly two thousand years. It was He who kept it alive in them —and He’ll go on keeping it alive for ever and always! For every John Doe movement these men kill, a new one will be born! That’s why those bells are ringing, John! They’re calling to us—not to give up—but to keep on fighting! To keep on pitching! Oh, don’t you see, darling? This is no time to give up! {Meet John Doe}



Merry Christmas!

-Millie

Marooned (1969): You know you're just a LITTLE too invested in a movie when you find yourself screaming "DIE GENE HACKMAN, DIE!"

So, yeah. {Spoilers ahead, of course.}

WHOA. I JUST LOOKED AT THE POSTER AND IT SAYS JOHN STURGES DIRECTED. I didn't even realize that. (Although, I did notice that Capra Jr. produced, which is strangely odd.)

Anyway, I just finished watching this film with Emmy and it made me experience a range of emotions.

Mostly hatred and anger towards Gene Hackman.

(That's right, Gene Hackman. Don't take your "rest pill." Breathe up as much oxygen as you like. It's not like there's a shortage. It's not like Richard Crenna is gonna sacrifice his life for you. It's not like James Franciscus is gonna end up permanently brain-dead because of you. It's not like David Janssen is risking his life to save you. IT'S NOT LIKE THE BRAVE {but unfortunately short-armed} RUSSIAN COSMONAUT IS GOING TO CHANGE HIS ENTIRE ORBIT IN AN ATTEMPT TO RESCUE YOU. Oh, um, sorry. That paragraph got a bit away from me.)

But, also, of course I was awed at the presence of Gregory Peck wearing these sunglasses:

And, of course, the movie had stinkin' Mr. David Janssen in it (because, as you know, I will literally watch anything for my beloved David). I didn't even know WHAT to do with my emotions when he pulled out his classic Dr. Richard Kimble is pretending to be shy and so he's sticking his hands in his front pockets move. (All that was missing was the twitchy, little smirk.)

Anyway, it was actually a surprisingly interesting, engrossing film (surprisingly, because it has had the MST3K treatment -- which I definitely need to watch). Apparently, people complain about its slowness. I thought it was quite effective. It slowly built up and built up, UNTIL I WAS IN FULL-BLOWN HYSTERIA.

I was screaming at my computer screen (I'm sorry, Oscar!). I was heaping death threats in Gene Hackman's direction. I was practically hysterical worrying about David's fate. I ALMOST SHED TEARS OVER THIS MOMENT:

IT HURTS! IT HURTS! Richard Crenna! WHY?! WHY?! Why did you sacrifice your life to save Hackman?! I understand the whole saving James Franciscus thing because, along with being basically Hackman's babysitter (he constantly has to repeat, "No, you are not dying," in a monotone voice like he's talking to a two year-old), he is rather pretty (also, I must mention that mere seconds after Richard's death, I was already planning for a marriage between Lee and David -- but still.):

{Emmy requested lots of James screen-caps, so this is solely for her. ;-D}

Anyway. This movie was very strange and harrible and awesome. And, um, I literally never knew what was going on. I mean, one moment, Gregory and David are exchanging thumbs up and managing to look so cool and serious...

...and the next moment a crazed, oxygen-deprived (JUST GUESS WHO HE GAVE HIS OXYGEN TO) James Franciscus is attempting to throw Gene Hackman into the arms of a randomly-appearing Russian cosmonaut. Unfortunately, the kindly Russian just barely misses him and Gene goes peacefully floating by.

I can't even respond to that.

And then, David showed up. And he saved Gene. And he saved James (with the help of the kindly, Russian cosmonaut). And he radioed back to Houston. And everyone threw their papers in the air. And went to a nearby bar to celebrate. And it was over. (Seriously, I hope there was nothing IMPORTANT on those papers. Like, you know [as Emmy pointed out to me], the instructions on how to LAND THE ROCKET THAT HAD NEVER BEEN EVEN TEST-FLOWN BEFORE)

Whoohoo! Let's party like it's 1969!

Not gonna lie, I still have no idea what happened. And, I'm pretty sure that Richard Crenna didn't need to die. And I'm pretty sure that Gene Hackman was a Soviet agent -- and needed to die. And I'm pretty sure that James Franciscus was kinda pretty. And I'm pretty sure Gregory Peck should have worn those sunglasses throughout the entire movie. And I'm pretty sure that David Janssen was perfect, even when he kept using weird similes and analogies and he kept not smiling his twitchy, little smirk. And I'm pretty sure I should never be allowed to watch or review movies ever again, BECAUSE MAROONED BROKE ME.

Good night.

-Millie

Thanks for watching it with me, Emmy! These are for you! ;-D

David and the deli delivery-boy.

James....AND THE MAN WHO NEEDED TO DIE.

Actually, a bunch of people were better off when George Bailey was never born...

Today, during the annual gingerbread making and decorating and watching waaay too many Christmas movies day, I realized that It's A Wonderful Life isn't QUITE the happy ending Mr. Capra might want you to think it is.

From infancy, we are taught to believe that it is the story of each of us. We all positively impact other people's lives in ways we can never even imagine.

That is what we are taught.

Lies, all lies.

I mean, sure, there were a few people who were negatively affected by George never being born: his children, Mr. Gower, Harry -- and the guys Harry saved in WWII.

But what about all those others?

Well, first of all, Mr. Potter was doing much better without the existence of George (but he's the bad guy, so this isn't allowed to fully count).

And Nick. Look at Nick. With George alive, he was a minimum wage employee at a beat-up, old bar. With George never being born, Nick was a business-owner. He OWNED the bar. It was Nick's Place. He had power and control over his life.

 Look how happy he is throwing people out of the bar -- WITH HIS NAME ON IT!

And then there's Mary. There is absolutely no way in heck that Mary ended up being a depressed, spinster librarian just because George was never born. She would have just ended up marrying Sam Wainwright and, you know, being rich and happy and traveling the world and being rich.


The whole "Mary had no life without George" plot-line is absolutely ridiculous. My Mum always tries to convince me that it's about them being "soul-mates" or some such nonsense.

MORE LIES.

 Mary without George? YEAH RIGHT. 

Reality of Mary without George:

(Off relaxing on the beach somewhere on an expensive vacation)

Some people were left absolutely unaffected. Bert the cop really couldn't care less if George was born or not. And in some ways, life was better without George (Pottersville was clearly a more hopping town for a trigger-happy cop like Bert).

And well, Martini was just out of the picture. CLEARLY, he was the only one actually smart enough to get out of bloody Bedford Falls/Pottersville/whatever.

Well, not the ONLY one. Annie wasn't around when George wasn't born. The logical assumption is that she used all the money she was saving over the years (that she ended up wasting -- ON GEORGE BAILEY) to leave that cursed place forever and have an actual happy life.

Also, this is unrelated, but I've always been incredibly confused as to why George not existing meant that Ernie's wife and child left him? Huh?

And, also, George never being born means that Uncle Billy lives in an insane asylum. WHAT?! Clearly, this guy should not be allowed to run around free and loose. So, in fact, when George is alive he is allowing a dangerously insane man to not only roam free -- but to also hold a position of high responsibility relating to money. WHAT?!

This guy? Really? YOU TRUST THIS GUY WITH YOUR MONEY?!

And these are just a few of the reasons why George Bailey never being born actually worked out well for a lot of people. I know this is probably a shock to your system (if you too were taught from infancy that this film is hopeful and uplifting), but it's the truth.

Revised lesson from the film: each person's life affects other people's lives. However, unless you are directly responsible for stopping old guys from poisoning young children or saving future Medal of Honor winners from an early death, you may just be the person standing in the way of other people being happy and financially secure...AND OWNING THEIR OWN BUSINESS.

 "Nothing special, just doing a little bird-watching on the Amazon...WITH EXPENSIVE GOLD-PLATED BINOCULARS! I'm so happy I married that nice Sam Wainwright and got out of that scary Bedford Falls/Pottersville/whatever place!"

-Millie (I'm not a grinch.)

Everytime, man. Everytime.