Saturday, October 22, 2011

Herb Alpert....and the awesomely over-the-top, not-at-all-cheesy '60s music videos.

Herb Alpert is king. This is a true statement.

For some reason, today Herb Alpert is considered uncool or something by people who have no idea who he is. It may be the name. Herb is not a cool name. (This is also a true statement.)

"Herb" notwithstanding, THOSE PEOPLE ARE WRONG. Herb Alpert is one of the coolest people to ever exist. And people who know who he is, know this (look at this sentence a few times, it will then begin to make sense ;-D).

And when my mum someone laughs at me other people who buy his records at Goodwill -- they're wrong. Sorely wrong.

Below, I will display Herb Alpert's awesomeness. He was so cool, he elevated cheesy '60s music videos. This is now art.

A Taste of Honey

Herb running down the beach in a tux, while carrying his trumpet. This is standard HA&TJB stuff. THIS IS STINKIN' COOL.

This Guy's In Love

Oh, how I love this video. It's so completely and irredeemable cheesy (and so perfect). 

The Lonely Bull

That smile at :53? That's Mr. Alpert saying, "Why yes, I am wearing a bright white suit and playing the trumpet in the middle of the bleachers in an empty bullfighting stadium. OF COURSE I'M COOLER THAN YOU."

The Spanish Flea

There's a creepy stuffed animal just sitting in a chair. Herb's completely miming his playing. There's random girls random girls always dance in the '60s. And Herb is finally like "what the heck?!" and just starts clapping.

Tijuana Taxi

Okay, this video doesn't actually have Herb Alpert or the Tijuana Brass in it visually. Only their music.

But, this IS an example of what always happens when anyone listens to Mr. Alpert: They grab their nearest ugly, upholstery poncho (that Micky Dolenz would be so proud of)....AND RUN AROUND DANCING VERY ODDLY.


Herb Alpert in strangely casual wear (where's his beach tux?!) hanging out on top of a dune buggy thing. Many surf boards stand nearby ominously. SUDDENLY, the entire cast of a Beach Party rip-off come running out. They dance creepily before running around like there's a bomb threat. Herb continues to stand on said dune buggy thing pretending that none of those people exist. He also sings for a short while -- because it was casual day.

Mame with Louis Armstrong


Herb Alpert and Louis Armstrong together (and neither playing the trumpet). Herb is clearly in awe of Mr. Armstrong and awkwardly trying not to sing louder, or faster, or more than Mr. Armstrong. AND THAT HAND SLIDE THING AT THE END. Oh my gosh. (And apparently, on this same show, they sang Mack The Knife together. I NEED TO SEE THAT.)

Anyway, here was just a short list of Herb Alpert awesomeness. If you find yourself addicted, don't worry. *I* won't laugh at you. I am always addicted.

It's one thing to listen to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, but it's quite another thing to WATCH THEM. Listening is chill and awesome. WATCHING IS WOWZIE KAZAM AND AWESOME.

Just remember that.



Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Reposting this comment because the last one made NO sense after all the typos...

Millie, you'd fit so well in my crazy family. After all, my mum walks around the house humming The Lonely Bull. Only she doesn't really's more like ya-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. (Mum is the source of my musical talents. You should hear my rendition of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". It's completely awful and hilarious.)

But yeah, you should definitely come live with us. Your love for Tijuana Brass would be appreciated. ;D

Raquelle said...

I'm going to try not to gush but this post was very enjoyable to read/watch. I watched all those clips and I have to say, I'm very happy that now I know what to do with my ugly upholstery poncho! I had no clue before.

Thank you for introducing us to the fine music of Herb Alpert! I for one am fascinated with odd beach wear. Like Jack Klugman wearing a full suit and sweater vest on an LA beach (WHAT?) and now Herb with a tux and a trumpet. Awesome sauce.

My local Goodwill has none of this kind of cheesy awesomeness!

Thanks Millie!

DKoren said...

Oh my gosh, so cool! I LOVE Herb Alpert. Grew up on a few of his records, know the music, but I've never seen a video -- UNTIL NOW! That has now been remedied. The Tijuana Taxi video looks like it was filmed at Olvera Street.

Love this post!

Sarah said...

This made my night and for that, you are awesome! Thanks for the post!

The Kid In The Front Row said...

I think you may be his biggest fan!

Leah said...

How could you forget the weird dog running onto the scene of the beach Mame video? (at like 35 seconds in).

Herb is a very good trumpet player, but those videos are so completely overthetop cheesy!


Leah said...

Help?!?! I'm trying to find the name of that actor's autobiography you posted about sometime ago. Sadly I can't remember the name of it!

I think he was a dancer, but am not for sure?! I keep thinking Michael Callan, but I'm not sure.

Millie said...


Raquelle: Awww, thanks Raquelle! I am so pleased! :-D

Herb is king of odd beach-wear! haha

Deb: YAYAY! The music is cool and all...BUT VIDEO PROOF IS THE BEST OF ALL! ;-D

Sarah: Thanks! :-D

The Kid In The Front Row: Nahhh, he has a very devoted following. I'm sure I'm not the biggest fan. :-D

Leah: Haha! That was pretty funny!

Hmmm, I'm not sure. Could you be referring to Bradford Dillman (Are You Anybody?: An Actor's Life)?

Leah said...

Yesh, Millie! That's what I was looking for!

Johanna said...

Hoorah, finally someone else who recognizes these golden needles in the smelly Goodwill record haystacks! (Confusing sentence.) LOVE HERB ALPERT. I remember when I was little I wasn't allowed to look at the cover of "Whipped Cream and Other Delights" because the lady was so nakey... ah, how we've all grown. Thanks for the videos, Millie, they have certainly rounded out my appreciation for this oh-so-effortlessly-cool-and-attractive trumpeter of my youth :)


Blog Widget by LinkWithin