Thursday, July 5, 2012

19 Favorite Sixties Television Characters: Simon Templar

Character: Simon Templar
Actor: Roger Moore (but as it has already been determined, Simon Templar and Roger Moore are actually the same person and therefore interchangeable)
Show: The Saint

Oh, Simon Templar. First off, the man is stinkin' perfect. He actually lives off of his perfectness. He has no real "job," yet is constantly traveling in high society around the world -- apparently living off his charm and eyebrow-raising skills alone (okay, and he also can become a master criminal whenever the situation calls for it/even when the situation definitely does not call for it).

What He Does Best: stealing things, the aforementioned eyebrow raising, ruining people's lives with clever quips ("You seem to have an inferiority complex. And rightly so, because you are inferior."), feeding evil women to the Loch Ness monster (I'm not making this up), driving his kick-awesome Volvo, being The Saint

Why He's Awesome: Aside from what I've already mentioned, there are other reasons why Simon Templar is cooler than everyone else.

He can figure out whenever any policeman is following him (he's strangely disliked by every police chief everywhere), then he usually invites said policeman to join him for dinner, or a drink, or he gives him directions to where he's headed next -- just to make it easier for the cop.

Whenever he gets into a fight, and his hair becomes tastefully disarranged, he simply runs his hand over his head -- AND HIS HAIR IS BACK TO BEING COMPLETELY PERFECT.

He breaks the fourth wall in every single episode (well, b/w eps) and talks directly to the camera, usually about the "amusing" stupid people standing next to him. Why? BECAUSE HE'S STINKIN' SIMON TEMPLAR AND HE DOESN'T CARE.

Bad guys are always telling him that he's a "very clever man" whenever they have him temporarily tied up. Simon Templar always has a response. Once, he replied, "I'm not very clever...I'm exceptionally clever." Another time, he responded, "You've been reading my mail."

Anyway, I could keep on going for hours. Suffice to say, Simon Templar is basically the most awesome person to ever be awesome.

Favorite Moments: I kinda already mentioned several, but there are more. In one episode, he needs to be at his friend's wedding, 100 miles away, in a week -- so he decides to hike. Why? BECAUSE HE'S STINKIN' SIMON TEMPLAR AND HE FELT LIKE HIKING.

In another episode, he bets this arrogant rich guy (in front of a bunch of reporters) that his burglar-proof house will be robbed within two days. The Saint then arranges to have a police alibi, knowing that there are half-a-dozen criminals planning to commit the crime in his name. So, he wins the bet -- not having done a single thing.

In one episode, he wanders around Rome disguised as a blind, Italian beggar (there is a point).

And in most episodes, he saves the day/the world/a good portion of humanity with just his charm, smile, and a raised eyebrow.

I will allow his peppermint-popping, "arch-nemesis" Inspector Teal says to explain:

“Let me tell you something about Simon Templar. The more he smiles, the more helpful, the more cooperative, honest, and charming he is— the more you can be sure he is plotting something diabolical.”

And, THAT, is why he is one my absolute favorite '60s TV characters (I am aware that he originated in the '20s). There is just no one cooler. I mean, my car is named Simon Templar (and there's a sign of the Saint taped up in one of the windows, just to further reassure everyone that I am completely crazy).

Basically, The Millie just hearts Simon Templar.


Next up: A lonely doctor on the run?


PuppyLovePrincess said...

oh crap. i somehow never saw this loch ness monster episode you speak of. and it sounds... AWESOME!

Millie said...

It is. It truly is.

Anonymous said...

The Saint has been my main show for the last couple of months. (The Simon Templar tag on tumblr is horribly cluttered with my screencaps.) AND OH, SIMON'S DAPPER SUAVITY IS UNPARALLELLED IN THIS WORLD.

I now have a Volvo. Basically because of Simon Templar. I still haven't named it yet though. And I really wanted one of those 'GB' stickers for the back!

This post just makes me happy. And yes, I will be the person who closely follows this series and comments and stalks and all that.

Burl Barer said...

As the author of THE SAINT (a novel) and THE SAINT, A COMPLETE HISTORY IN PRINT RADIO TELEVISION AND FILM, CAPTURE THE SAINT, and the forthcoming THE RETURN OF THE SAINT, I must tell you how much I loved this! I had a Saintmobile also...more than one..and you are correct, Simon Templar is the ultimate cool!

Terence Towles Canote said...

I always loved Simon Templar and I thought Roger Moore to play him. In fact, I can't think of Roger Moore as James Bond--whenever I watch one of his Bond movies I think that it's Simon Templar filling in for 007! :-)

Hamlette said...

I am a terrible person and have never seen any ep of the TV show. But I ADORE the books. He's fabulous. I neeeeeeeeeed to see the show, I really do. Want to come babysit my kids for a week so I can catch up?

I may have seen your car. Last weekend I saw a vehicle (I suck at recognizing what makes and models are) with a little Saint figure in the back window. I wanted to go steal it. If I were Simon Templar, I would have.

Hamlette said...

I just realize my comment here yesterday may have come off as a bit... stalkery? Sorry! Sometimes I have trouble posting coherently, what with the three tornadoes of sunshine whirling around me. Anyway, I don't think I actually saw your car, I just saw one with a Saint logo in the window and wished I had one too. Hmm... should go browse Etsy... But unless you live in Virginia, along with the other 5 bazillion people here, I'm sure it wasn't you. I just posted because it seemed like a funny coincidence to read that you have one just a few days after I saw a car with one. Tell your parents the crazy Hamlette-obsessed lady isn't following you after all :-)

Millie said...

Emm: This pleases me.

I do not have a Volvo, but I do have a beat-up, green Subaru. And it has a British flag sticker on the back (previous owner, aka my sister who lived in England). So yeah. haha

This also pleases me. Hopefully, I get back on track with the series! haha

Burl: Wow, thank you! :-D

Terry: Roger and Simon are totally the same person. I adore Sir Roger Moore and have never seen any of his Bond movies. I just don't think it would work. haha

Hamlette: Oooh, you should really check the show out and I will absolutely babysit your kids. Either for gas money or good snack food. I'm cool with either form of payment.

Well, if you were traversing around Western Washington last weekend, then you did indeed see me. ;-D

Did not sound creepy at all to me! haha (Although, I am the number creeper around here, so...;-D)


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