Character: Simon Templar
Actor: Roger Moore (but as it has already been determined, Simon Templar and Roger Moore are actually the same person and therefore interchangeable)
Show: The Saint
Oh, Simon Templar. First off, the man is stinkin' perfect. He actually lives off of his perfectness. He has no real "job," yet is constantly traveling in high society around the world -- apparently living off his charm and eyebrow-raising skills alone (okay, and he also can become a master criminal whenever the situation calls for it/even when the situation definitely does not call for it).
What He Does Best: stealing things, the aforementioned eyebrow raising, ruining people's lives with clever quips ("You seem to have an inferiority complex. And rightly so, because you are inferior."), feeding evil women to the Loch Ness monster (I'm not making this up), driving his kick-awesome Volvo, being The Saint
Why He's Awesome: Aside from what I've already mentioned, there are other reasons why Simon Templar is cooler than everyone else.
He can figure out whenever any policeman is following him (he's strangely disliked by every police chief everywhere), then he usually invites said policeman to join him for dinner, or a drink, or he gives him directions to where he's headed next -- just to make it easier for the cop.
Whenever he gets into a fight, and his hair becomes tastefully disarranged, he simply runs his hand over his head -- AND HIS HAIR IS BACK TO BEING COMPLETELY PERFECT.
He breaks the fourth wall in every single episode (well, b/w eps) and talks directly to the camera, usually about the "amusing" stupid people standing next to him. Why? BECAUSE HE'S STINKIN' SIMON TEMPLAR AND HE DOESN'T CARE.
Bad guys are always telling him that he's a "very clever man" whenever they have him temporarily tied up. Simon Templar always has a response. Once, he replied, "I'm not very clever...I'm exceptionally clever." Another time, he responded, "You've been reading my mail."
Anyway, I could keep on going for hours. Suffice to say, Simon Templar is basically the most awesome person to ever be awesome.
Favorite Moments: I kinda already mentioned several, but there are more. In one episode, he needs to be at his friend's wedding, 100 miles away, in a week -- so he decides to hike. Why? BECAUSE HE'S STINKIN' SIMON TEMPLAR AND HE FELT LIKE HIKING.
In another episode, he bets this arrogant rich guy (in front of a bunch of reporters) that his burglar-proof house will be robbed within two days. The Saint then arranges to have a police alibi, knowing that there are half-a-dozen criminals planning to commit the crime in his name. So, he wins the bet -- not having done a single thing.
In one episode, he wanders around Rome disguised as a blind, Italian beggar (there is a point).
And in most episodes, he saves the day/the world/a good portion of humanity with just his charm, smile, and a raised eyebrow.
I will allow his peppermint-popping, "arch-nemesis" Inspector Teal says to explain:
“Let me tell you something about Simon Templar. The more he smiles, the more helpful, the more cooperative, honest, and charming he is— the more you can be sure he is plotting something diabolical.”
And, THAT, is why he is one my absolute favorite '60s TV characters (I am aware that he originated in the '20s). There is just no one cooler. I mean, my car is named Simon Templar (and there's a sign of the Saint taped up in one of the windows, just to further reassure everyone that I am completely crazy).
Basically, The Millie just hearts Simon Templar.
Next up: A lonely doctor on the run?