My, my, my. How the turn tables.
Anyway, the lovely Kate has tagged me to tell you all ten random facts about me. You should go read her post because it is the exactly perfect amount of fascinating, whimsical, brilliant, and hilarious. And there is an adorable photo of her. So, really. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING MY POST?
Without further ado:
1. I have a bad habit of falling madly in love with random actors (usually dead), and then watching them every night non-stop for three weeks. I'm talking about watching random movies and/or television until the sun rises, because I have a horribly addictive personality. You can usually tell who my Love of the Moment is because I will post posts about them at 3 in the morning.
2. The height of my hair typically determines my mood.
3. I name/personify inanimate objects. All of my electronics have names. My first laptop was named Arnold (from The Magic School Bus); he committed suicide (jumped off a desk and dumped mango tea in his motherboard). My next one was named Jamie-boy (Tyrone Power in The Black Swan); he was only around for a few days, because he was defective. My third one was named Oscar (after Oscar Levant); he was faithful and dedicated for three years. He was so wonderful. He continued to work, despite the fact that the screen was only connected to the rest of the computer by a thin cord. I even ordered my new laptop on him, and he continued to persevere. I feel so guilty -- I can't get rid of him. I now have my new laptop, Bradford (after Bradford Dillman). Every time I use Bradford (like right now), all I can hear is Oscar singing this.
Okay, I need to move on before I break down crying.
4. The other day, I was pulling into a gas station at probably 6:30am. There was a car pulling out at the same time, and I noticed that there was a bright red ball attached to the front grill. Because of my aforementioned extreme ability to personify, I immediately thought the car was a clown car and laughed to myself. I glanced up at its driver -- AND IT WAS AN ACTUAL CLOWN IN FULL TERRIFYING MAKEUP (we're talking like James Bond dressed as a clown terrifying) AND IT WAS GLARING AT ME.
I haven't felt safe since.
5. Historical one-liners (even the-not-historically-verified-ones), and the context behind historical one-liners, actually make me sit quietly while weeping on the inside.
Quotes like, "Lafayette, we are here," spoken by an American officer upon arriving in France during WWI (I really love the Marquis de Lafayette, okay.)
Or, "You can have his body, but his heart belongs in Africa," said by Dr. Livingstone's attendants after he died and the British government wanted to make a big deal of burying him in Britain. The two men, Chuma and Susi, cut out his heart and buried it in the village where he lived, before carrying his body halfway across Africa.
Or William Tecumseh Sherman's immortal words, "General Grant is a great general. I know him well. He stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk; and now, sir, we stand by each other always."
It's too much.
6. I often get emails from people comparing my stream-of-consciousness writing to James Joyce's Ulysses.
7. I prefer to say that I am sardonic, instead of sarcastic. Mainly, because sardonic is a cooler word and makes me sound more intelligent.
8. In an actually difficult decision (because I am rather selfish and love cheap things), I recently decided to no longer buy new clothes -- unless, I know that they were created in a completely ethical manner. From now on, I'm going to buy ethically-made clothes or used clothes. I can (and did) speak out against the injustice and inhumanity facing workers around the world. But, before making the decision, I always felt like the abolitionists who spoke out against slavery, but easily and comfortably benefited from the work of slaves.
9. My "dream guy" is tall with dark hair, green eyes, and a Scottish accent. He also is independently, but ethically wealthy and he wants to live in West Africa and work with children. It's going to be beautiful.
10. In awkward situations, I usually say random movie quotes. 99% of the time, in a softly-lilting voice, I say, "Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderly again. " This is very successful, as you can imagine.
There you have it. Literally, this is all you need to know to know me. (Also: I love David Janssen.)
I tag Sarah, Nicola, Hamlette, and DKoren. But, anyone else who would like to participate is more than welcome. If you do, leave a comment with the link. I'd love to read it.