Thursday, July 4, 2013

I have discovered who I am.

In an unexpected twist of fate -- that nobody saw coming -- I discovered who I truly am today. And it didn't take an obsessive French Inspector. Nor did I have to accompany Tyrone Power to the fake mountains of sunshine.

No. Truth came to me while sitting on the couch, eating food, indulging in childhood nostalgia, and watching That Darn Cat!

I didn't expect this to happen. No one ever expects this to happen.

One moment, I was sitting there. The next moment, I understood.

Basically, it's your standard realization.

I realized that I AM CANOE.

I don't why I never got it before, but I understand now.

Hayley Mills questioned how he could watch SO many surfer movies, and also mused aloud, "Do you ever get the spooky feeling that we keep seeing the same movie over and over, and all they do is change the titles a little bit?"

Canoe's enthusiastic response, "Yeah! It's terrific stuff, isn't!"

Well, man, that spoke to me.

And his inability to understand that it's TIME TO LEAVE.

Well, I got that.

And his unkillable vehicle.

It reminds me of my own 1993 Subaru, Simon Templar.

And his overriding insecurity and/or paranoia.

I so understood.

And his decision to deal with his own insecurity and/or paranoia by donning a trench coat and fake mustache.

I'VE TOTALLY DONE THAT. I chuckled at the absurdity. 

Basically, I am him and he is me.

Even his angry late-film confession that he actually doesn't like watching surfer movies all the time -- even that felt true-to-life.

And, by the way, did I mention that Canoe (alias Tom Lowell) once played a STINKIN' GNOME.

I weep because what a wonderful world.

So, in recap, when I'm not Richard Schuyler (and honestly, I'm writing a post about him soon) -- I'm Canoe.

And, it feels so right.

It was important to talk to you all, face to face (in a short, two-minute presentation) about this tremendous life discovery:

Hayley and I hanging out at the drive-in:

^Actually, I just want to be Hayley Mills. Ugh. Look at her.



P.S. My life's philosophy summed up in one minute:


Meredith said...

Man alive I have wandered away from blogger for too long. You are hilarious/adorable as always miss millie! I think Hayley Mills is near the top of my list of people I would want to do a freaky friday switch with.

Hamlette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Metzinger Sisters said...

You can't be Canoe!...I put dibs on him two years back: that fateful Saturday evening in August when it dawned on me that living the life of Canoe every single day of my lifetime till eternity was something I could totally do. Those surfin' pictures looked good! And eating big weird sandwiches and feeding the crumbs to the cat...well, okay, maybe you can be Canoe. I'll be Hayley instead. Come to think of it she did have the better life playing with the feds.

Did you really have a car named Simon Templar? That's awesome.

- Connie

Kellie said...

This is beautiful. and brilliant - and I'm laughing so hard I'm weeping.

Just discovered your blog and can't wait to read more... keep it up! <3

Accordion to Kellie

Millie said...

Meredith: YAY! I've missed you. Your comments always make me smile! :-)

Yeah. Hayley Mills would be top of the list. Because, besides being Hayley Mills, you'd also have the coolest family ever.

Hamlette: You've deleted your comment! But, I did want to respond and let you know that I've never seen Combat!, but everyone seems to love it! I need to take a look at it!

Connie: What. STOP CONFUSING ME. Don't confront me with these multiple realities! ;-D

But, seriously, it would be a great life!

Kellie! Awwww! Thank you so much! :-D

Nicola said...

Hahahahaha BEST POST EVER!!!

Hamlette said...

I decided my comment was too braggy. Here's the non-braggy version:

I love Canoe! If you are Canoe, that means I really want to hug you :-)

I love Tom Lowell -- he was on my favorite show, Combat!, for two seasons. If you want to watch a couple of really good eps featuring Tom, here are links to full eps on YouTube that I'd recommend for their Tom-ful-ness:

"One More for the Road"

"Glow Against the Sky"

"The Party"

Those three have a lot of him in them, and run the gamut from serious-and-sweet to deadly-serious to humorous-and-light.


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