Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Wolverine (2013): Yes. I went to see another big budget action movie. But, Hugh Jackman, okay.

Guys. I promise you; I never go to see so many "blockbuster action movies" as I have this summer. I just have for some reason. And, I definitely need to tell you my opinion -- so you know what your options are.

Much is made of the fact that these types of movies sell on the spectacle and action versus the characters or people involved. But, every movie I have gone to see is because of a specific actor: Amy Adams in Man of Steel, Idris Elba in Pacific Rim, and now Hugh Jackman in The Wolverine.

Actually, scientific studies have shown that 100% of everyone and their mothers (especially their mothers) love Hugh Jackman. To NOT love Hugh Jackman is actually a rare mutation that negatively affects your ability to recognize coolness.

^Someone else pointed out that he's dressed as Johnny Cash; and I really have to agree. 

Anyway. I actually went to see this on Thursday night, but I have been far too busy having impromptu Remington Steele marathons with friends with life to write a review until now. 

My short review: go see it. 

It was so much fun. And that was actually rather surprising, because Wolverine is one of the more tragic superheroes (going only movie knowledge here; I've never read any comics). Everyone Wolverine loves dies -- and, probably, he had to kill them himself. So, really. He can be a little surly and depressed. That's why, for a movie that starts with the bombing of Nagasaki, I was pleasantly surprised by the pleasantness of it.

Yes, there was death and betrayal and sadness and guilt and anger, but at least whole cities weren't destroyed capriciously in some climatic battle.

I loved watching a mostly self-contained movie that dealt with "doable problems," instead of an entire apocalypse (but I still totally heart the brilliance and perfection of Pacific Rim).

And, of course, Hugh Jackman was perfect. Honestly. How is he who he is? (My youngest brother once suggested a reality TV show where Hugh Jackman, Bear Grylls, and Liam Neeson teach people how to be likable -- APPOINTMENT TELEVISION, RIGHT THERE!)

I do have to add a slight disclaimer that I didn't hate the Wolverine: Origins movie. I mean, I didn't love it either; it's not something I want to own on DVD (my standard measurement for a film's greatness). But, I did find it entertaining (even though it was trying to tell 18 distinct stories at once). Well, I mean, until the twisty-twisty at the end that made me want to claw my own heart out -- and then it was okay -- AND THEN IT WASN'T OKAY. But, that is a story for another time. 

I still don't quite understand the universal hatred for the movie. I mean, I understand. But, also, look at his hair:

^How could you hate a movie with hair like that? (Also, I just spent a ridiculous amount of time looking for a photo of his hair and had to settle for this. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, INTERNET?!)

But, as I said, that is a story for another time.

The Wolverine: Road to Japan was thoroughly entertaining. The fight scenes were actually engaging (aka more than just knocking a bunch of skyscrapers over [I still love you, Man of Steel]). Well, the climatic battle was perhaps a little unnecessary, misplaced, and stupid -- but at least whole cities weren't destroyed.


That is both rare and beautiful in an average superhero movie.

And best of all: NOT EVERYONE DIED. 

That's right. You heard it here first, not everyone in the movie dies. This is a blessed relief.

Slight downside: I figured the twisty-twists very early in the movie. But, that is mostly likely because I have watched too many movies in my life (I'm not easily surprised by plot twists that don't involve Scottish frog people). Other people did not guess and might have been annoyed when I finally couldn't contain myself and whispered the twisty-twist reveal moments before it occurred. However, the knowledge did not affect my ability to completely enjoy watching it happen. So, yeah.

Also, slight spoiler, but it was in the trailer:

Jean + Logan is such a tragic romance that doesn't make any sense (going by the movies), but they always look so sad that I believe in the tragedy. THE PAIN. It's real and it hurts. 

In conclusion, I am rather tired and have little left to say that will resemble anything near reality or lucidness. So, go watch The Wolverine: Road to Japan and perhaps be a little surly, but please don't kill anyone you love. 

P.S. If you guys knew that I actually didn't COMPLETELY hate X3, you would really not trust my review. It was definitely ridiculous and I began to laugh hysterically as literally everyone died, but still, Hugh Jackman.


Olivia said...

OMG this is one of the best reviews I've ever read! I'm absolutely using "100% of everyone" in the future! Hahahah! I'm still no really excited about this one, but HUGH JACKMAN. ;)

Millie said...

Olivia, you have made my day!

But, really, you should be excited. Because, Hugh Jackman fights ninjas and samurai and it's brilliant. haha

Dan O. said...

It was a fun movie, but also had a bit of heart and emotion thrown in there as well. Good review Millie.

Millie said...

Dan: Thanks! I think that's probably why Hugh Jackman is just so great; he can play the fun "fighting on top of train," but also the angstyness!

Simoa said...

I love reading everything you write, even if I haven't seen this movie. The review and you are perfect.

Millie said...

Perfect human being: you are making my cry! Seriously! I love you! :-D

Hamlette said...

How did I miss this review originally???

I don't hate X3 either. I don't love it like X2 and X-Men, but I don't hate it. And I actually prefer Origins to Road to Japan. Which is what I'll totally be calling this movie from now on. You're brilliant, as usual.


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