Saturday, October 29, 2016

Important Halloween Message

You know what is one of the clearest symptoms of a global consumer culture that is decaying and rotten at its core?
The chocolate industry.
Americans spend billions of dollars a year on chocolate. No one needs chocolate. It is a luxury. A treat. A gift. Something to put into candy bowls in office waiting areas.
Meanwhile, almost the entire cocoa industry is fueled by plantations (mainly in West Africa) where child labour--and child slavery--is the norm.
Children are being trafficked; children are being enslaved; children are being forced to work long hours at dangerous work with minimal to no pay.
Who is buying this child slave cocoa? Hershey's, Nestle, Mars, and nearly every major chocolate brand.
They have blocked legislation that would have required them to be certified child slave free, and have made continual broken promises to self-regulate. They were gonna be child slave free in 2005, now it's 2020. We'll see.
AS THE CONSUMERS, WE CAN DEMAND CHANGE. But, it must be fueled by our dollars, because they are not listening otherwise.
I urge you to stop buying from companies who exploit children. There are alternatives.
This Halloween, please don't support the enslavement of one child to fill the treat bag of another child.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Watching JAWS for the first time: the saga

I have never seen Jaws. Sharks have terrified and fascinated me since I before I can remember (the local aquarium had sharks in this dimly lit underwater observation room where all the walls were coral). I HAVE NOT SEEN JAWS. I cannot even watch Finding Nemo, because the deep underwater horrifies me.

I tried to watch Shark Week as shock therapy once. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.


Faced my fears and took the plunge (heh heh).

Here is the live play by play:

A photo posted by Meg Hesketh (@thephantomasthmatic) on

A photo posted by Meg Hesketh (@thephantomasthmatic) on

A photo posted by Meg Hesketh (@thephantomasthmatic) on

A photo posted by Meg Hesketh (@thephantomasthmatic) on

A video posted by Meg Hesketh (@thephantomasthmatic) on

A video posted by Meg Hesketh (@thephantomasthmatic) on

Well, gang. Land Shark is still the only shark I trust.

"SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS? It's not even leather!" aka I love the clothes in Working Girl and I don't have a good explanation why

HELP. I was just rewatching Working Girl (1988), and as always it is about 80 shades of problematic and confusingly regressive with toxic ideas yet sometimes subversive and mostly always fun.

And, yesterday, I wrote a post about harassment and Trump, so I am EXHAUSTED and literally cannot talk about deconstructing this film--but I am sure you can find some great critiques through the Google.

And, as I sat and actively did not critique the film, I could only think about how much I was jamming with the fashion, and how that is probably embarrassing. But, then I definitely saw a couple of outfits that I have definitely worn ~recently~ and so WHATEVS--I am unashamed.

But, never the hair.
~a poem by me

Also, hey David Duchovny!

Let's start out with the basics. Why was I watching Working Girl on Netflix at 10:30PMCT this particular Thursday evening? Was it because Kate has gaslighted me into believing that I love Harrison Ford, and I did a Netflix search for his name and it only came up with this film and Firewall--an absolutely bonkers movie that I had happened to already watch last month--so I decided to rewatch Working Girl instead? Possibly. Only time and my therapist can tell.

Oddly enough, Kate is also the reason why the very first time I saw this film, I vividly knew 30 seconds of it by heart--without even realizing it. I have a copy of Boys Night Out (awesome, but also problematic 1960s comedy starring James Garner and Kim Novak) that Kate sent me years ago recorded off of TCM. However, the DVD doesn't start immediately with the film, but instead has 30 seconds of some other film preceding it. I had no idea what film it was, nor did I ever care enough to google it. But, the first time I watched Working Girl, I immediately recognized the moment and can still quote it to this day: "Want a different answer? Ask a different girl." *crowd at bar goes Ohhhhhhh*

Anyway, I am actually now starting to worry that this all some Machiavellian long-con plot by Kate for who knows what nefarious purpose.

*Kate removes face mask; is Randolph Scott*

Well, with that out of the way, we get to Melanie Griffith's first look of the film. And it is major classic.

{Note once again that I neither approve nor endorse this hair.}

I love this look. I wear this look. Classic skirt/dress with tights and socks and tennis shoes. That IS style. I am not being sarcastic right now.

This is not the only time she goes for this look in the film. And, it is always great. And having the appropriate oversized coat is vital.

 ^Why does this strange exercise bike look vaguely steampunk?

Melanie Griffith is not the only one killin' it in the style department. No, there is also Sigourney Weaver. And, all I can say about that, is Lord grant me the confidence of Sigourney Weaver in a power suit/skirt combo with an impressive overcoat draped on the shoulders walking like she knows everyone is blessed simply by being even momentarily acknowledged by her.

Next you see an example of how we fail in the presence of EssDubs. There is literally no point in trying to have any motivation. Also, this dress is very Mary Richards which is why I always get lulled into trusting her untrustworthy idea thief self (totes messed up though that the two "career women" are pitted against each other as opposite sides of good and evil).

And, these glasses which are impossibly great. I want them, but in a shade of green. Here she offsets her colorful glasses with an ensemble which can only be described as very Miss Marple-esque. It works.

And, we are gonna bid adieu to Sigourney, for actually the rest of the post, because I forgot to take any more screenshots of her as I became preoccupied with cataloguing shots of Harrison Ford drinking things grumpily. She is going out in literally epic style though.

Of course, we cannot neglect the true style icon of this film: Joan YOU KNOW HER NAME Cusack.
We are not worthy, and I want all of her earrings/secretly her eye make-up/okay, I did that to my eyes once.

Oh, yeah, and Harrison Ford is in this movie too. He plays the confused ingenue role, and is perfect as it. His style is pretty much completely non-descript, and his hair manages to escape the ravages of hairspray and pure grease that infected too many.

He gets away with wrinkled shirts though.

And, there is this moment where he and Melanie are like chilling like they're in some 1988 film noir or something. Or maybe Harrison is like off-script chilling and Melanie is just coming back from her job moonlighting as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator circa Seven Year Itch. Who could say?

Okay, at this point, I have to admit that I really forget to take Harrison Ford style shots. Sorry, man. Here is a photo of you making the confused ingenue face.

And, back to more Melanie style.

So, first thing she does after realizing the truth about Sigourney's idea thief nature--it to steal her clothes, apartment, identity, and accidentally, her boyfriend (he is culpable here; not her). Most importantly, she steals her actual glasses.


She also wears other glasses, but they are not as great and also don't taste of the sweetness of revenge (that is kinda, totally regressive story-wise).

Melanie also steals this dress, which I have pondered and decided that I would wear--but only with Joan Cusack's parrot earrings.

Now, this is all actually incredibly creepy, and mostly completely not-okay, but we only accept it as film-viewers, 'cause we trust Harrison Ford. And also because it is actually absurdly funny to hear him talk to an unconscious person for five minutes: including begging forgiveness for the possible mess in his house and asking if she wants herbal tea, before remembering that he has no herbal tea. Again though, REAL LIFE/ANY MAN=Do not do this!

We also have cazh Melanie. I like these looks; although, I prefer a darker wash of jeans in both cases. You can also see a fleeting glimpse of Alec Baldwin, BUT HE IS THE WORST SHUNNN HIMMMM.

And, now, I REALLY, just want to talk about what we all know is the best scene in the film: the wedding shenanigans. That has so many fun 1930s screwball comedy beats--that all I want is for 1988 Harrison Ford to star in a remake of The Awful Truth with 1988 Sigourney Weaver.

I feel bad for this actor who spends the whole scene with just their feet displayed underneath the stall door. Do you think they was told they were going to be filming a scene with Harrison Ford and Melanie Griffith, and they were excited about their possible big break--only for this indignity to be foisted upon them?

Let's venture outside our carefully constructed safety zones, and talk about hair for a moment shall we, because it is truly upsetting, and I couldn't bear to linger on more than a few shots in order to capture them.

Melanie, no.

And then, suddenly, a vintage style showed up. It was a very reminiscent of SOMETHING!?

 And, in continuing with your concluding wrap-up the style of Working Girl, here is the truly terrifying bridesmaid dress that Melanie is forced to wear. It would be unforgivable, but the bride is none other than Joan SHE WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER Cusack, so always forgiven. Also, Melanie still looks better than that joker Alec Baldwin *booohissss*

In conclusion of odds and ends, there is this:

But, there is also this; which is gloriously cathartic:

And, Harrison Ford does NOT appreciate your disrespectful female gaze, JOKERS.

And also, this jacket is great, and if I could pull it off, I WOULD EVERY DAY. I WOULD BE ALAN LADD AND INVESTIGATING EVERYTHING.

Also, the scene at the end where Harrison packs Melanie her lunch to take to work is kinda subversive (in relation to the rest of the film), AND IT IS ALSO PERFECT.

Well, gang. It looks like I just wasted a truly unacceptable amount of allotted-sleeping time screencapping and posting about the fashion of Working Girl. I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THIS, CAUSE MY ALARM IS LITERALLY GOING OFF IN 1HR32MIN.

^The bitterest same of them all.

In other words, I will not be reading much less editing this post before clicking publish. Okay, have a good life. Bye.


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